hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I DIE!
- Reached down to pick up a knot of black thread on the floor only to realize it was a spider.
- While reading books to my seven year old at bedtime, I either mumble ‘blah blah blah’ or make up the story as I go along.
“And so the three Bears came home and…blah blah blah…kicked Goldilock’s sorry ass out of the hizzle for good. The End.”
- Tried to kiss my husband and ended up trying to make out with his nose.
- Returned home from the playground with the wrong kid. And a very tiny old man.
- For months thought I was watching the critically-acclaimed Netflix series: A Testes’ Development
- My new look? Unibrow.
- I can read a book only if I squint hard in bright light and if someone holds it up for me while they’re standing in Texas.
- Mistook the microwavable cardboard sleeve for the actual Hot Pocket. Knew something was up when it tasted good.
- Had a…
View original post 145 more words