GIFTED NOT DEPRESSED

I

am different from most of the people I know, I love my personal space. You may call me an introvert, but in fact I am very bold. I take my time to understand things and stay to my circles of friends. Most people wouldn’t understand. After spending a whole day with people and listening to what everyone says, I enjoy that time alone to think of the events of the day and evaluate my feelings. If by any chance someone offended me, I deal with it then and get ready for a new day. Exploring my mind gives me this sort of energy that gets me past what I go through every day. But most do not understand. They think am all closed up. To be sincere, none of my friends know me as much as my boyfriend does. Being invisible in our world is what gives us a wonderful connection.

Most of my friends think they deserve my help all the time; I am good at problem solving because I am very observant. Before I put my energy at an issue, I observe and think through it. Unfortunately I don’t let my chain of problems pile; I deal with everything every day as it comes. I do not postpone issues because my inner self won’t let me. If I can’t solve it, I put it down on paper and when it is too tough, I bring it all down on my pillow. One thing with my tears, they are always so close but when one drops, it takes my pain and distress away. I bet that’s the reason many think am bold and strong, because my problems do not break me but make me.

I never understand why I do not keep grudges. I forgive and move on but since I am easily hurt, I close in my heart and protect myself from possible hurt. Being social beings one or two things may happen but I always move on. I always see myself as a queen in her own kingdom and that gives me a rough time when one of my friends does something unfair to others. I find it my place to defend the defenseless but how – I do not know. I keep on writing, listening and observing human behavior. I keep finding my purpose and want everything to go perfect. Nature itself has a way of communicating to me through my thoughts and life experiences. Who I am is a blessing to many. I do not wish to praise myself but what others see is different. Being a gifted child is not an easy thing. We are always mistaken for so many other things and nobody understands who we are.

Being gifted is not a curse; same case to introverts. I am one yet not ashamed. I do not mind the comfort of my own room in college, every evening taking time to chat with my thoughts. Call it madness; because I write what my mind thinks, it’s my easiest way of having a conversation with me. Most people stereotype us to be loners without social ties, that’s not true because I am a social butterfly who minds and loves her personal space too much. At the end of it all, who we are doesn’t really matter as much as the impact we leave.

Recently, my best friend and her friends invited me over. I observe loyalty but often feel alone in a crowd of people. I prefer being with people I know than meeting new friends. Many say I am so closed to the world. But in my world which is my thoughts am very fun. I do not let people in so easily. Somehow, I avoid people because I dislike small talks. It makes me annoyed and easily distracted. Group work gives me a hard time as I sometime end up feeling invisible to them all. I prefer a presentation in front of my colleagues in the university than having to interact with them all and starting conversations. In fact, I love it when the lecturer gets in class as soon as I arrive.

If only most of my friends would understand who I really am, they would take me differently. So I ride in their bubble of fun and seem to be as outgoing as they are. I never stop writing; it is what gives me ultimate satisfaction with myself, helps me solve issues and move on to yet another noisy day of coping with what comes forth. So I keep living my own world, happy and bold. I am gifted, that I know.

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