Monthly Archives: September 2014

GIFTED NOT DEPRESSED

I

am different from most of the people I know, I love my personal space. You may call me an introvert, but in fact I am very bold. I take my time to understand things and stay to my circles of friends. Most people wouldn’t understand. After spending a whole day with people and listening to what everyone says, I enjoy that time alone to think of the events of the day and evaluate my feelings. If by any chance someone offended me, I deal with it then and get ready for a new day. Exploring my mind gives me this sort of energy that gets me past what I go through every day. But most do not understand. They think am all closed up. To be sincere, none of my friends know me as much as my boyfriend does. Being invisible in our world is what gives us a wonderful connection.

Most of my friends think they deserve my help all the time; I am good at problem solving because I am very observant. Before I put my energy at an issue, I observe and think through it. Unfortunately I don’t let my chain of problems pile; I deal with everything every day as it comes. I do not postpone issues because my inner self won’t let me. If I can’t solve it, I put it down on paper and when it is too tough, I bring it all down on my pillow. One thing with my tears, they are always so close but when one drops, it takes my pain and distress away. I bet that’s the reason many think am bold and strong, because my problems do not break me but make me.

I never understand why I do not keep grudges. I forgive and move on but since I am easily hurt, I close in my heart and protect myself from possible hurt. Being social beings one or two things may happen but I always move on. I always see myself as a queen in her own kingdom and that gives me a rough time when one of my friends does something unfair to others. I find it my place to defend the defenseless but how – I do not know. I keep on writing, listening and observing human behavior. I keep finding my purpose and want everything to go perfect. Nature itself has a way of communicating to me through my thoughts and life experiences. Who I am is a blessing to many. I do not wish to praise myself but what others see is different. Being a gifted child is not an easy thing. We are always mistaken for so many other things and nobody understands who we are.

Being gifted is not a curse; same case to introverts. I am one yet not ashamed. I do not mind the comfort of my own room in college, every evening taking time to chat with my thoughts. Call it madness; because I write what my mind thinks, it’s my easiest way of having a conversation with me. Most people stereotype us to be loners without social ties, that’s not true because I am a social butterfly who minds and loves her personal space too much. At the end of it all, who we are doesn’t really matter as much as the impact we leave.

Recently, my best friend and her friends invited me over. I observe loyalty but often feel alone in a crowd of people. I prefer being with people I know than meeting new friends. Many say I am so closed to the world. But in my world which is my thoughts am very fun. I do not let people in so easily. Somehow, I avoid people because I dislike small talks. It makes me annoyed and easily distracted. Group work gives me a hard time as I sometime end up feeling invisible to them all. I prefer a presentation in front of my colleagues in the university than having to interact with them all and starting conversations. In fact, I love it when the lecturer gets in class as soon as I arrive.

If only most of my friends would understand who I really am, they would take me differently. So I ride in their bubble of fun and seem to be as outgoing as they are. I never stop writing; it is what gives me ultimate satisfaction with myself, helps me solve issues and move on to yet another noisy day of coping with what comes forth. So I keep living my own world, happy and bold. I am gifted, that I know.

Take The Bucket O Chicken Challenge To Cure LAFF

Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

bucketorubberchickens

The phenomenal success of the ice bucket challenge has brought in a ton of money for ALS, as well as bringing much-needed awareness to this worthy cause.   I’m going to borrow the idea to raise funds for another cause that is near and dear to my heart, the effort to stamp out LAFF.

Of course I’ve known about this horrible condition for a long time, but I never fully realized how many people are afflicted until last week…when I was Freshly Pressed.

My piece was a tongue-in-cheek announcement of my intention to sue Facebook for posting a picture of me as a dorky kid.   WordPress FPd the post under the tag “Social Media,” and therein lies the trouble. Since it wasn’t specifically tagged as “Humor”, a significant number of new readers thought I was serious. They chided, they scolded, and some even cursed me out for my irresponsible suit.

I…

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Invasion Of The iPhone Snatchers

I love it

Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

You can run, but you cannot hid. You can run, but you cannot hide.

My husband has become one of Them.  They’re taking over.

I keep trying to tell people, but they won’t listen.
“You’re paranoid.” they say.
“That’s crazy talk.” they say.

Oh sure, it seemed innocent enough at first.  The iPod was great – who wouldn’t want to make their own music play lists?  Soon, everybody had one.  Then came the iPhones, then the iPads, then upgrades without end.  They infiltrated our lives so slowly that nobody noticed they were taking over.

Those who have already been transformed are the biggest threat.

It’s hard to tell iPod People from normal people, except for their total lack of emotion about anything but apps and future upgrades.  They wear a perpetually glazed-over look until the subject swings round to the latest iGizmo.  Then they come to life, eyes firing with the religious fervor of a tent-revival…

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BOLD YET BROKEN

“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies” Aristotle

When you lose that trust, that friendship bond that was there, it is hard to put it back as before. I thought I had her to run to, comfort perhaps. We might have used each other as vetting machines, but the trust I had for her was a great deal for me. It all started small and silly, her new annoying habits. A simple misunderstanding and I thought a simple sorry would patch things up. At this point, I would count on all the habits I did not like about her, but was more difficult to share out what was bothering me and instead I chose to pile all the shit in.

The silence between us haunted me for weeks. I chose to reach out to her and stich the broken pieces which went well. I knew I would use solid friendship from a girlfriend. With time, I have learnt as much as we would want to put our spouses as our best friends, there is that one time you feel like talking to someone else. For that reason, a girlfriend would work. Of Couse you will agree with me that they are good for moral support through tough times. It is unfortunate for someone like me who does not make friends easily. You probably understand why I bottled up all what I felt about her. I had to prevent losing one of the few friends I have.

Being loyal is what I expect from my few friends. At first we were on each other’s team, unbreakable they said but this last period of separation got me thinking, what changes people? Sincerely, a lot had changed. She was arrogant, careless and disrespectful. The sweet friend with devoted attachment and affection was lost somewhere or at least never existed. Her alter ego was so powerful that it over shadowed her true self as she led a life of selfishness.

“I am the most beautiful……most brilliant……..most eloquent……queen of English language…”she always said.

I don’t like how she was making everyone feel she deserves to be worshiped. Mother superior was all I could think of her whenever she commented, cutting other people’s conversation very rudely. I wouldn’t blame her; she has a good language command and was lucky to be born beautiful. To me, all those she turned down or insulted because of their looks deserve better, I mean, beauty is deep within. Insulting any guy who showed passes on her because they were not her description of hot was unfair. We are human, no one would want to be rejected or confirmed to by the opposite sex they aren’t good looking.

Enough of all the lamentation, I admit I was jealous and the same time sorry for her. She was making her life a competition she would definitely lose. She couldn’t take me out on my sense of fashion. I helped her out of fashion disasters so many times worse being she couldn’t admit that there are guys who would prefer me to her. That reality made her bail on me as her friend. Her relationship wasn’t all flowery and she needed help. She could only turn to me, the very same friend she despised. On my case, everything else was perfect; an amazing relationship, having fun at work, simple life as I have always wanted.

As small as it seems, we lost each other. It’s not the same now; I keep a low profile while she wants to be taken as a queen. Sadly am back to my despicable habits – getting ‘booze’ and venting to my diary, writing the night away. It’s what I do best and if this is any consolation, I love my life. Writing is my second lover after my loving boyfriend.